One Big Happy Family: Varia
by Rinatsu
Summary: 'You' are now in the Varia. A wine addict, violent dad, a fangirling mom, a loud bodyguard, a sadistic princely brother, a moneyface sister, a cute younger brother and a 'invisible' butler. What else could go wrong? Rated T for a little swearing.
1. I'm meeting your family!

**Rin: Here's another fic! ^^ This time, it's something to do with the readers! (Note: This happens in the present. 2) Mammon is free of the Arcobaleno curse. 3) Fran is in it. 4) Mammon is a female is this one.)**

**Xanxus: Hmph. Annoying….**

**Rin: Hope everyone enjoys it! It two shots! :D**

**Squalo: Vroooooi! DISCLAIMER: That brat does not own us or KHR! If she does, we'll all be dead by now!**

**Rin: -glares- So mean… Enjoy~!**

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><p><em>Namimori Middle, classroom 2-A…<em>

It was a beautiful Thursday morning, as you stared at the blue sky through the window. Now was your current favourite lesson, Science.

Unfortunately, now you didn't really like the teacher teaching it. The teacher who was teaching was the one that you had despised all the time, Nezu-sensei. **[1]**

"**(F/N)**! What's the answer for question 4?" An angry voice suddenly echoed throughout the class, disrupting your thoughts and making you jump.

You looked up and found yourself staring into a pair of very ferocious eyes. _That damn old man…_ You cursed inwardly.

You got up lazily and quickly answer the question. Nezu-sensei however, just huffed and went back to teaching.

Of course you could solve such a simple question! You were well known for being one of the best scorer in school, and the best competitor for Gokudera Hayato.

But what no one else knows is that you work for a mafia family called the 'Vongola', and was part of a secret assassination squad known as the 'Varia'.

You were also the cloud guardian. _If anyone knows about it, they would probably be jealous about me… Too bad boss doesn't allow me to tell anyone…_ You sighed.

Just then, "**(F/N)**! See me after class!" Nezu-sensei's voice jolt you awake once again. _Crap… Not again…_ This was of course, not the first time you've been called out by the teacher. After being _'forced'_ to live in such a _'poor'_ environment.

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><p><em>Ring!<em> Finally after feeling for what it seems like forever, you were almost prepared to meet your doom.

You stumbled out of the classroom, wondering what kind of scolding will that old man give, but you also noticed Tsuna throwing you a worried look, while Gokudera was grinning happily.

You gave a thumbs up to Tsuna, telling him not to worry, and also at the same time, glaring at the silver teen, giving him a you-are-so-dead look.

"**(F/N)**…" The old ma- I mean Nezu-sensei began, "You are a student with great potential, and I can see a great and bright future lying ahead of you…" You did an inner face palm. The last time that old ma- I mean Nezu-sensei gave this kind of lecture, almost made you swear out loud and kill him.

_Damn it… This was going to last for some time…_

After _'some'_ time, you were nearly falling asleep, but still trying not to show it. Unfortunately, your lack of concentration made you lose what the teacher was going to say next.

"..So, I must say that I'm sorry, but I need to meet you family. Or parents, rather…" Nezu-sensei coughed, as he finished the sentence. You nodded without blinking or thinking, until…

_Wait, what? Pause. Go back just a little._

_Did that old man just wanted to meet my parents, and did I agreed to it?_ You thought in disbelief. How could you be so careless? So much for being the next smartest person in the Varia after Bel…

You walked out of the school gate looking down at the ground in a little shock. That's why you had always hated that old man… He always likes to trick people into agreeing to something horrible.

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><p><em>Flashback to a little while ago…<em>

_"Then it's a deal then! I will be at your house today at 4pm, since I already have your address!" Nezu-sensei smirked happily._

_Before you could even open your mouth to say anything, the teacher strode out of the room, humming a happy tune._

_Back to current time…_

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><p>Then it came to you. He had been planning to get you for this the whole time! You did another face palm.<p>

"A-Are you alright?" A voice brought you back to reality. You turned to look. It was Tsuna, Gokudera and Yamamoto. "Yeah…" You tried smiling back.

"Heh. You deserved it!" Gokudera said, smirking as you throw him another killer glare. "Haha, I'm sure you'll be fine!" Yamamoto tried to bring the mood up. You forced a smile and bid goodbye to the trio.

Where the hell were you going to get parents for that old man to meet? Your parents were currently overseas, and they weren't coming back yet.

You walked for what it felt like a long time, before finally reaching your current home. The Varia mansion.

"Ushishishi~ Welcome back, peasant…" Bel said mockingly when he opened the door for you. "Ah, welcome back, senpai… Just ignore that fake prince-senpai…" Fran greeted you too, using his normal monotone voice.

"It's _'Prince'_, froggy!" A knife was soon inserted into Fran's giant frog hat. The teal hair teen just shrugged and walks off.

You enter the mansion to find it in a mess…_again_. Xanxus, or your boss, was doing the usual thing. Throwing wine glass at Squalo.

Levi was admiring his boss _'amazing'_ throwing skills. Squalo was obviously unhappy, and was cursing all over the place. Mammon was busy counting money on a side of the sofa; Fran was sprawled on the floor eating his pocky sticks while watching the whole amusing battle.

Bel was too as usual, looking for someone to bug. And Lussuria….well, let's just say he was fangirling over some clothes on a magazine on the other side of the sofa.

Just then, looking at these people made a hundred light bulbs light up in your head. The plan was worth a go.

"Alright! Quiet down, all of you!" You shouted, and that indeed made everyone stop what they were doing. "Trash, who gave you the permission to order us?" Xanxus stared at you. "It doesn't matter that now, boss, I'm in trouble." You replied calmly.

"VROOOII! Just what f****** trouble did you get into?" Squalo screamed in anger. You felt your veins twitched a bit.

"That old ma- I mean my science teacher wanted to meet my family, and I need your help." You coughed as you adjusted your uniform.

"My, my! We'll be glad to help you, **(Y/N)**-chan!" Lussuria squealed happily, shutting Squalo up from uttering his next chain of curses.

You grinned. "So what do we do?" Fran asked, still nibbling on his pocky sticks. "Well…" You cleared your throat.

"…Xanxus can be my father, Lussuria you can be the mother, though I'm not sure why, Squalo you can maybe be the bodyguard or something, Levi…well, just lock yourself in some room… Bel, be my older brother, Fran, you can be my younger brother, and Mammon, please be my older sister."

The whole of Varia stared at you. "Alright… But I better see the money in my bank account by tomorrow…" Mammon was the first to react. You nodded, smiling. "Do I look old enough to be your father?" Xanxus asked, twitching as he smashed his wine glass.

"Come on, boss… It's just a pretend…" You looked at Xanxus pleadingly. He scoffed and went back to his room after muttering 'scum'. "VROOOII! Why am I supposed to be the bodyguard?" And you decided to ignore Squalo.

"But-" Levi was unfortunately cut off by Lussuria. "My! That's great!" Lussuria beamed happily. Bel and Fran just agreed to the plan.

You then handed a bag of _'something'_ to them. "Here are some costumes… Just wear it and be _'normal'_… Or else…" You purposely emphasize the word _'normal'_.

All of them nodded in unison. Though some were left with no choice….

"We have about one hour left! So prepare yourself!" You shouted while you looked at the clock in the living room.

Everyone scrambled to get ready. _(Except for Xanxus…)_

_The plan was on._

**-To Be Continued-**

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><p><strong>[1] Remember him? I had always hated him… :P<strong>

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><p><strong>Rin: Well? How was it? Did I make anyone to OOC? This is my first time attempting something with the readers inside it… If there's anything wrong, please correct me… ^^"<strong>

**Mammon: I don't get it why am I in this without getting paid…**

**Fran: -sighs- What she was trying to say is, please review… Review?**


	2. Normal? What is normal?

**Rin: I'm back~! :D Glad that I have so many people reviewing!**

**Xanxus: Do I seriously look old enough to be your father? –crush wine glass-**

**Rin: -gulp- W-Well, I will be updating 'The Past Is Alive?' and 'Parallel Days' soon! –runs-**

**Xanxus: Come back here, you scum! –chases while firing X-guns-**

**Squalo: VROOOI! I hate this story!**

**Levi: You're not the onl…-cuts off by writer's screaming-**

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><p><strong>Hell Changer: Well… I can't see that either…XD –coughs-<strong>

**EK12: LOL…because I wrote it…XD Thanks for it! :D**

**DinoMe-ItsMyUsernameDealWithIt: Thanks for reading and reviewing! :D**

**Romina Baskerville: Hmm…maybe it will be…-evil grin-**

**CAM369487: Eh…well, I feel that Squalo's personality fits the job more… I mean his loud voice…X.X I used to think that Mammon's a girl…XD I had to go to Reborn wiki to search for his name…XDD**

**la catena di vento: I would love to join you in tearing him up… :D Thank you! ^^**

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><p><em>Everyone scrambled to get ready. (Except for Xanxus…)<em>

_The plan was on._

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><p>A few minutes later, everyone was dressed up and ready to go on with the plan.<p>

Everyone was finally dressed up _NORMALLY_, except maybe Lussuria, because he had a long wig on and he was wearing a dress. Yes, mind you, a _dress_.

So for the next few minutes or so, everyone was fighting to use the bathroom. "Why don't you all used the bathroom at the second floor instead?" You did a little face palm. The others all looked at you, with the slightest gratitude, before running upstairs.

And after everyone was done using the bathroom, they assembled at the living room. Just then, you spotted something kind of out.

"Will you take down your tiara, Bel?" You asked Bel. The 'Prince' just simply glared at you. "Ushishishi~ No way. A _'Prince'_ must definitely have it on at all times, and this is a crown…" You scoffed at Bel, then proceeding to give more instructions.

"Alright! Just act NORMAL. You guys understand the meaning right?" You asked, feeling a little nervous. Squalo stared at you before shouting, "VROOOI! Of course we do! Don't treat us like idiots!"

You sighed and nodded. _That's what I was afraid of…_

_DING DONG!_ The doorbell rang. "Someone go get it! Levi you do it!" You said to Levi, panicking. "Why shoul-" Before Levi could finished the sentence, Fran interrupted. "I'll get it…"

Fran opened the door slowly, then finally facing the man in front of him. Nezu-sensei. "Why hello… Guy that I've never met before in my life…" He greeted sarcastically. "You've got to pay to come inside…" Mammon spoke from behind, studying Nezu-sensei carefully.

The old ma- I mean Nezu-sensei looked at your two _'family'_ members. _These two people look weird… A kid having green hair and eyes, and a girl with tattoo on her face… They must be pretty rebellious…_

"Ushishishi~ Do you want to come inside or what, peasant? Get in before I stab-" You immediately ran over to cover Bel's mouth. "Err… G-Good evening, Nezu-sensei! P-Please do come inside…" You tried greeting politely, as the teacher walked in and glared at you.

_I need to be more careful…_ The old ma- Nezu-sensei thought inwardly. Not before long, everyone had gathered around the teacher, eyeing him suspiciously. "W-Well, these are basically my family members…" You faked a smile.

"That's my mom…" You pointed at Lussuria. Nezu-sensei looked at Lussuria with… a weird look. "My, my~! My name's Luss- I mean Lisa! Care for a cookie?" Lussuria smiled happily as she- he brought a cookie tray. "V-Vooi… I-I'm going to the kitchen for a while…call me when it's my turn…" Squalo said, his face paling, then running into the kitchen.

"Ah… Wait for me…" Fran tagged along but he then whispered softly, "I'm going to throw up…" Bel chuckled as he turned away; while Mammon counted her money and Levi…wait…who cares what he's doing?

"Then that's my older brother…" You pointed at Bel. The blonde gave his infamous Cheshire grin before continuing. "My name's Belphegor… But I prefer peasants like you calling me, Prince Bel… Ushishishi~" You kicked Bel's legs. Nezu-sensei looked at the both of you.

"Sensei, please ignore him… He's a little…psycho in the mind…" Bel tried to stab you, but you were quick enough to confiscate his knives. "A-And that's my older sister…" You pointed at Mammon. "You need to pay up to know about me…" The illusionist looked up, then walking back to her bedroom.

Then, Fran and Squalo came out of the kitchen, their face colour finally going back to normal. "That's my younger brother…" You pointed at Fran, while Fran just waved back. "How come he doesn't smile or anything?" Nezu-sensei asked, and you felt your muscle twitching a bit. _How annoying can this old man be?_ You cursed under your breath.

"W-Well… He has a little emotional problem…" You twitched while smiling, as that old man wrote something in his notebook. "T-That's my bodyguard…" You pointed at Squalo. "VROOOI! The name's Squalo! Do anything and I'll slice you into pieces!" The silver hair man shouted. Nezu-sensei sweat dropped.

"Shut up trash!" A voice came from upstairs. You did another face palm. "That guy there is no one important… A-And the person upstairs is my father..." You skipped Levi before pointing upstairs.

Soon enough, Xanxus came down…

"So, you're that scum's teacher?" Xanxus asked. Nezu-sensei gulped and nodded.

_This family is definitely not alright…_

**-To Be Continued-**

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><p><strong>Bel: Ushishishi~ Due to the peasant being hunt down by our boss, I'll be in charge…<strong>

**Lussuria: Minna~! This story has been changed into three shots! Because it was longer than expected! :D**

**Fran: Oh dear god… I'm going somewhere far away this time…just to get away from…this scene…-disappears-**

**Mammon: Pay up to review all of you… -writer's screaming and Xanxus's shouting in background-**


	3. This is Varia 'Quality!

**Rin: Hi everyone! I'm back with the last chapter! And I'm not dead yet! :D**

**Squalo: VROOOI! It's even more annoying when you're here!**

**Mammon: Yare, yare… No one's paying up… Fine… I'll just take it from Levi…**

**Levi: Wait! You can't do th-**

**Bel: Shishishi~ That perverted peasant should shut up~ Thank you all for reviewing for this idiot girl…**

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><p><strong>Jetta-chan: Thank you for liking! ^^ The next chapter's gonna be fun! XD<strong>

**EK12: Well, I guess so…XD The readers are waiting…for you to continue the great story~ But don't force yourself…or the story won't be able to go on…**

**Amiillo: I AGREE! The last chapter….hmm…-grins-**

**CloudyDays12: Oh, I don't know…-evil smirk- Yes…they have 'problems'….XD**

**CAM369487: She's gonna take from Levi anyways…XD (Levi: Noooooo!) –ignores- Thanks for the review! ^^**

**Himeageha31: Aww…thanks~ ^^ Yes…they can fight for the bathroom… I hope to have Xanxus as a father though…XD**

**Leph 129: I had to check wiki for his name… (._.) You CAN? –is shock- O.O I was like twitching all the way….OTL**

**Blueberryxn: And don't forget, he's a pervert and a Xanxus-stalker….XD**

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><p><em>"So, you're that scum's teacher?" Xanxus asked. Nezu-sensei gulped and nodded.<em>

_This family is definitely not alright…_

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><p>You chuckled silently at the old man's nervousness around your 'father'.<p>

Xanxus eyed Nezu-sensei with his menacing look. "So what do you want to talk about, scum? Get to the point…I don't have all day…" Your 'father' growled at the man.

Nezu-sensei coughed nervously and cleared his throat. "W-Well… I wanted to tell you that **(F/N)** have not been doing very well in school…" Xanxus simply glared at the man, making the moment even tenser.

"So? What makes you think I care for that scum?" You watched with interest as the old man's mouth fell open, then closing slowly again.

Just then, Lussuria walked over and whisper to you. "Ne~ At this rate, our beloved boss is going to traumatise your teacher…" You laughed quietly, and signal that it's okay. _That old man deserves it, anyways!_

"Ne, Bel-senpai… Mind passing the popcorn?" You looked to the side and found Bel and Fran, one lying on the couch, while one lying on the floor, all enjoying the free 'movie'.

"Hey! I want the popcorn too!" You casually walked over, smiling, while asking your 'brothers' to pass the popcorn. You sat along with Bel and Fran, too watching the interesting 'movie'.

"W-Well… I was just saying since **(Y/N)** was your child, you should care more for him/her…" Nezu-sensei spoke, slightly frightened. Xanxus raised a brow at you teacher.

He scoffed. "I don't care what that useless scum does, and it's not my business…" You laughed once again, behind a pillow. You don't really mind what your 'father' calls you, as long as you get to traumatise that old man.

"Vooooi... That damn boss is a really good traumatiser… I doubt that that old man can get out of here without being traumatised…" Squalo walked out of the kitchen while carrying Xanxus's favourite wine, and whispered to you.

You nodded and sighed. "Doesn't really matter anyways… I hated that old man… He's the one that was traumatising our whole class in the first place… Especially poor Tsuna…" You said as you recalled the time when Tsuna got almost expelled.

"So this is considered revenge…" You smiled 'innocently' at the swordsman. Squalo shook his head and brought Xanxus his wine.

"You call this wine, shark trash?" Xanxus shouted angrily and tossed the wine glass at Squalo…once again. "Ushishishi~ That's the 25th wine glass today…" Bel chuckled. "Ouch. That must have hurt…" Fran said sarcastically.

"VROOOOOOOI! WHAT WAS THAT FOR, YOU F****** BOSS!" Squalo screamed back while swinging his sword around. Nezu-sensei mouth fell open again. "Oh my~ There they go again…" Lussuria said sadly as she/he took out the first aid kit.

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><p>Before anyone could say anything else, the window and door suddenly broke opened. "Today's the day you all die, Varia!" A masked man carrying weapons broke into the mansion and shouted.<p>

He was soon followed by other man wearing the same masks. "We're under attack by an enemy family…" Mammon spoke calmly as she walked down the stairs, preparing her illusions for battle.

Everyone too took out their weapons. Your weapon was a twin moon blade which was pretty handy when it comes to short or middle range battles.

Soon enough, the whole mansion was turned into a battlefield. Xanxus was busy shooting away at the enemies with his X-guns, Squalo was busy cutting enemies up, and while Bel was busy stabbing people and laughing like a maniac at the same time.

Mammon and Fran were busy trapping enemies with their illusions, Lussuria was using his famous muay thai to teach the enemies a lesson, and Levi….let's just say that he was fighting people with his umbrellas.

One by one, the enemies were soon taken down by you and the Varia, but in the end, the whole mansion is in a big mess. "My~ This time we're going to use a lot of money too…" Lussuria sighed.

Suddenly, you remembered about the old man. You found Nezu-sensei under the dining table but he was unconscious. _Probably shocked or traumatised…_

You shook your head and suggested carrying that old man home. "I will erase his memories after that…" Everyone agreed.

But just before you brought your teacher out of the mansion, something came into your mind.

"Hey, guys…" The whole Varia looked at you. "How come we never thought of using Mammon's and Fran's illusion to keep that old man busy…. So we wouldn't have to do this?" Everyone looked at you silently, and you knew that they were doing face palms inside their mind.

Fran shrugged and walk off, helping to clear the mess. Mammon stood there, still with that calm expression on her face.

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><p><em>"Well, but you all got to pay up…"<em>

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><p><strong>-The End-<strong>

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><p><strong>Rin: LOLOL… What the hell's with the ending…XD<strong>

**Fran: Well… There is a point there…**

**Xanxus: This is stupid… Hmph. –walks away-**

**Mammon: Yare, yare… I would have earned more that way…**

**Bel: Ushishishi~ How come the prince didn't think of it?**

**Levi: Thi-**

**Lussuria: Minna~! Review, ne!**

**Squalo: VROOOOI! REVIEW!**


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